A post from a woman entitled “I want to know the psychology of girls who like high speed ” was sent to the bulletin board site “Hitoshi Komachi”. A female acquaintance said, “I’m attracted to high-spec people” and “Amazing people have interesting stories.” I understand that, but I can’t help but feel like I’m judging the opponent based on their superficial specs… She asks why she is attracted to hype, is it because she is confident in herself?
When you’re with amazing people, you feel like you’re a person who has value!?
Regarding the expression “high spec”, the post explains that “handsome, highly educated, good at work, has a position”, so I will write on the premise that the person has those elements. Also, this time, it’s not about a couple with high specs, but rather why they want to date someone who has higher specs than themselves.
One of the possibilities is that people tend to feel that when they are with an amazing person, they feel like they are worth something. I think many people have experienced this psychology, not only in love. It’s quite common for people to boast that they are friends or acquaintances with celebrities or high-ranking people. There is also a proverb, “A fox that borrows the authority of a tiger.”
It has also been pointed out that when it comes to love, the less self-established one is, the more likely they are to seek status from their partner. Because I am immature and insecure, I try to gain self-confidence from the fact that I am dating a person with a high status and a high reputation in the world. In the case of an acquaintance of Mr. Topi, the feeling that “I am a person chosen by a high-spec partner” and “I feel like I have become wiser when I am with a smart partner with whom I can talk interestingly” is comfortable and subconsciously. Looking for such a partner is one possibility.
You don’t know until you experience the change in how you feel after dating?
Mr. Topi himself says that he doesn’t really understand the feeling of being attracted to high speed because he feels that dating someone who doesn’t fit his height is “I feel like my shoulders are narrow and I feel like I’m losing my self-confidence.” You can also see her writing that “It was hard when she actually dated a handsome guy,” but in fact, it may be possible to understand it only by experiencing it.
Mr. Topi must have felt proud to have a handsome boyfriend when he first started dating. It’s good when you’re soaring with excitement, but as you continue dating and regain your composure, you can say, “Just because the other person is great doesn’t mean you’re great.” ”, and on the contrary, you will learn the feeling of losing confidence. This change in perception is a very common pattern.
When you become tormented by such feelings, you start to feel anxiety such as “I will be abandoned someday” and “I will be robbed by someone”, and I will start to be jealous of the other person’s every move. . It’s not uncommon for both you and your partner to end up having a hard time, and the relationship gets worse and you end up breaking up.
Maybe someone you know has never been in a long-term relationship with a high-spec partner. It’s up to her whether or not to judge based on superficial specs, but I wonder if she’s only seen the good things before or in the early days of dating, or if she goes out with him once, she might feel the same way. I thought it would be best to try to understand.
Developing self-confidence independent of the external environment will increase happiness in life
However, not everyone will feel negative when dating a high-spec partner. Is it because she is confident in herself that she is attracted to haispe? It is difficult. Even couples who are seen as “specs that don’t match” by those around them are less likely to have problems if they don’t think so.
In other words, “confidence” is not directly proportional to the evaluations and facts seen by the world. Even among those who are said to have high specs, there are those who lack confidence, and vice versa. In this area, in addition to your innate temperament, how you nurtured your self-esteem and whether you were in an environment where you were raised… People who have the confidence to say, “It’s easy to live with a positive mindset, and that atmosphere may be more attractive to others than your specs.
In addition, the specs of “working for a famous company” may be lost if the company goes bankrupt, but the confidence that you have regardless of the specs is less likely to be swayed by the external environment.
If you look at it this way, you can see that “cultivating self-confidence” is more important for living a happy life than sticking to the specs of yourself and others. If Topi wants to use his acquaintance as a teacher, “I want to socialize without being swayed by specs,” it is an effective way to try to “develop confidence that will not be shaken by the external environment.” I think it’s a method. I’m rooting for you.
